spirituality

Interfaith Family Life

Traditionally most faith communities have been unsympathetic to this, and some have rejected those who are said to have 'married out.' Others have encouraged the woman to convert or insisted that the children be brought up in the man's faith. Many faith communities have been reluctant to bless such marriages or to provide any religious ceremony. This, however, is changing. Marriage law is different in each country. The situation is most complex in countries like Britain, where the religious and legal ceremony may be combined. Where the legalities are a matter for civic authorities, there is greater freedom to devise an appropriate liturgy, which may be a beautiful and inspiring celebration. When one partner is a Christian, couples may hold this in church; others will think a neutral venue is more appropriate.

'Where statistics are available they confirm it: mixed faith marriages are happening in ever-greater numbers in most western countries. The fact is a challenge to religious establishments and faith communities. Often it is treated by them and by the media as something akin to secularization, leading either to one or both of the couple’s departure from the religious community altogether or to a home-made syncretism that it is feared dilutes the distinct identity and truth of each faith, a kind of ultimate privatization of religion. There may be an unholy tussle for souls between the faiths involved. Is it expected to seek the conversion of a partner? Who gets the children? These are uncomfortable topics in terms of maintaining the delicate balance between faiths and are hardly conducive to the well-being of the marriage itself. Meanwhile the couples are finding out for themselves, often in loneliness and isolation from faith communities and sometimes from extended families as well...(read more)'

On the Muslim-Christian Marriage Support Group website you will find questions to reflect on when considering a Muslim/Christian marriage
* Do you respect the core values of your partner's faith. Do they respect yours?
* Can you cope with disapproval? (your family, your community, spouse's family) Are you prepared to try to work through it for your partner's sake? Are they prepared to do the same?
* Is your commitment to this relationship at the top of your priorities-or very near it?
* Can you compromise? (read more)

You might also like to look at interfaith marriage support and issues on the Interfaith Community site

The faith identity of children of a 'mixed marriage' may be a problem for the parents. A simple service of thanksgiving or naming, which includes material from two religions, may be devised, but rites of initiation presume membership of a particular faith community. Parents may therefore leave it to children to make a decision when they are older.

The link leads to an article, Managing Shabbat by Lee Kravetz, about a Jewish-Christian family celebrating shabbat together:
There is something inherently beautiful in the simplicity of Shabbat. One of our most important holidays, it has become such a part of Ken Johnson's life that it's difficult to believe that he is, he attests, "as WASPy as they come."
Nina Grove is the Jewish half of their marriage and Ken the Protestant half. They are raising their seven-year-old daughter to be Jewish. Zoe is now the primary Shabbat candleholder on Friday nights when they celebrate a slightly clipped version of the holiday. 
"We do the candles," Ken says, "but we don't break bread. We talked about what rituals we wanted to do, and this is the routine we focused on." 

(For more follow link above)

At death, it is normal for the funeral to be in accordance with the dead person’s own religion, but surviving partners may want ministers of their religion to participate in the service.

For many articles on dealing with death in an interfaith family visit the archives of InterfaithFamily.com

An article, Bereavement and the Interfaith Family By Rabbi Elias J. Lieberman, is part of this archive:

Extract: Our responses to death, however, are culturally defined. The Hindu cremation pyre, the Catholic wake, the shiva observance in Judaism (the initial seven-day period of intense mourning) are all manifestations of our need to mourn a loss and we turn to familiar rituals to help us do so. For interfaith families, the death of a loved one can give rise to questions, and the solutions we come up with can either facilitate, or impede, a healthy grieving process.